CAROLYN
BEITZEL
Diary #6
I
Have So Many Questions
About My Teaching Practice
My hands are thrown up in defeat.
This low-level class that I teach is literally driving me to the brink! I have realized that I cannot keep them on the same sequence as the other classes. I also have figured out that I can teach them the same content. So what if we are a few days behind my other classes. I can live with that. What I cannot live with is their belief that they are dumb and cannot "do" what the other classes are accomplishing. They have not told me in words that they feel this way. Maybe I am projecting my own thoughts onto them. But, this week I just had it. I sat down in front of them and asked them point blank: "Why won't you work on what I am asking you to do?" "Is it because I have not explained it well enough?" Let me backtrack a moment. Out of a class of 28, five have I.E.P's or a documented learning disability that is addressed in the classroom with accommodations. The majority are reading at least two and often three levels below grade. The biggest behavior problem I have is incessant talking. Most are polite, raise their hands and participate in class activities. All of them are great kids. There is not one that I would say I dislike. Presently, we are reviewing the American Colonial period using the textbook as our primary resource. We are learning different reading techniques for text rendering. All my other classes can focus and stay mostly on task with guided independent activities. This class, however, when given a moment to themselves, totally loses it. They talk, they walk around the room, they throw out trash, they sharpen pencils. All of these are classroom procedures that we have talked about ad nauseum. They should know the rules by now.Will it get better?
How can I get them to realize they are smart enough to stay on task and complete an assignment without me hovering over their shoulders or policing the room at every moment? I truly believe that their off-task behavior is a learned one. I want to break them of this habit and help them see themselves as students who can complete an activity without having to be re-directed every three or so minutes.
Is this just a time issue? Will it get better as the school year goes on? If I keep modeling expected behavior will they finally "get it?" When I asked them why they would or could not do the work assigned these are the responses I received: "It is boring.""You go too fast."
"I don't understand the book."
"Your instructions are too hard."
"There is too much talking going on." Okay. So I can reqroup. I can structure my lessons to move even slower. I can try alternative assignments to liven things up (I have actually tried this and failed, as the off-task behavior escalates when I provide less structure). I can go through instructions step by step, eliciting understanding before moving on. I can modify my lessons out the wazoo if it will help.
Upon reflection, maybe the problem is not with them but with me? Am I pushing this class too hard because I want them to succeed? Is their success on my time frame instead of theirs? Do I need to lighten up and let them move at their natural pace? I have so many questions about my practice. I'm one frustrated second-year teacher.
A positive note
On a more upbeat note, our team met with a mother today who was concerned about her son, who has an auditory processing deficit. He hears only part of the directions and then has a difficult time organizing his thoughts to get started. She was so grateful that we were taking her concerns seriously. The school psychologist was in attendance and confirmed that her son will always fall through the cracks without special attention, because he does not meet any of the learning disabled, behaviorally or mentally challenged benchmarks. So we came up with a plan to have the child complete a daily task sheet with each of the teachers. This daily planner is given out during homeroom and is checked at the end of the day so all the materials can be placed in the backpack for home. Mom was given a second set of textbooks so there is no need to remember to bring home a book. We suggested that the student use a large three-inch ring binder to keep all his class information so only one binder needs to be carried throughout the day. This will cut down on locker time and the need to choose what to bring to class. It was good to end the day on a positive initiative.
