ELLEN
BERG
Diary #1
The
Need to Build Trust
I
wish I could fly
From this building
From this wall
And if I should try
Would you catch me if I fall?
It has taken me seven years to get this, but the real mission and purpose
of the first days of school has finally become clear to me.
Contrary to popular belief, these first few precious days are not time to frighten children into compliance with a laundry list of dos and don'ts. It is not a time of skill review, classroom procedures, and assessments. Some of these activities may, in fact, take place in our classrooms, but they are not the central task of the week. No, the first days of school are about something far more important if you stop to think it through.
The first days are about hope and trust. From my students' perspectives, it is the hope that maybe this year will be a good one. Maybe my teacher will treat me with respect and kindness. Maybe I won't get in trouble all the time this year. Maybe, just maybe, this year all those words on the page will begin to make sense to me.
From my teacher perspective, it is the hope that I will get it right this year, that maybe I'll be able to deliver on all my promises to my kids, that I will always think before acting.
We are asking a lot
When our kids step into our rooms for the year, we are asking a lot from them. We are asking them to give us their hopes and dreams and their trust that we will always act in their best interests. They have been burned before, but the hope they have keeps them in the game, looking for that person worthy of their trust.
Many times I have gone about the business of the year but failed to deliberately work on gaining my students' trust. I ask them to follow where I lead with no explanation or argument, but I have not proven myself trustworthy. Just because I am the teacher and an adult does not make me automatically trustworthy. I have to earn it in small steps, over time, and it starts on day one.
How do we build trust?
How do we begin to build that trust? I do not have all the answers, but I will share with you the steps I am taking to become trustworthy in my students' eyes.
First, I
am trying to demonstrate in every possible way that I respect them. For
example, learning and remembering names are a huge challenge for me, so
I always make that a priority. I shared my struggles with my students
and asked them to assist me as I tried to learn their names. I told them
I believed it was important to call them by their names, so it was the
number one goal on my list to accomplish. So far they have tried to give
me strategies to remember names I forget, and they have celebrated with
me as I have successful called out an entire classroom's names. I hope
they are seeing how important this task is to me.
Another way I am trying to demonstrate my respect is by delegating responsibilities
to them. I never pass out papers or materials; that job is always assigned
to a student. I have one student who offered to take on the responsibility
of changing the date each day. Another one passes out the SSR folders
and selects an assistant. Others are "locksmiths" that help other students
work their combination locks. I believe we often handicap our students
when we do it all for them. We are demonstrating in every way that we
do not trust or respect their abilities. I am not very good at delegating
tasks, so I have had to work very hard at this.
To build trust one must also be clear about expectations and then follow through on them. I carefully laid out my objectives for the quarter for them, what I thought it was going to take to get to our destination, my expectations from them, and my commitment to getting them there. They know where we are going this quarter, and as I guide them along the path, catching them as they trip, supporting them when they get tired, they will see I mean what I say.
I promised them that each day would be important, that I would not waste their time, so I expected them not to waste their own or their peers' time along the way. I promised that if they put the effort in and asked questions when they were struggling, they would be successful.
Why am I bothering to build all this trust? I mean, shouldn't students just learn because they are supposed to? Because I said so? So they can get a good job? I don't think so. If my students do not trust me, how will they be able to take risks or believe what I say is important? Students do not have to always agree with us or even love us, but they must trust and respect us or we will get nowhere with them. It is the beginning of a new school year. In every face last Tuesday I saw hope and longing in their eyes as I described our journey together. I hope that at the end of this school year I can report I lived up to my students' expectations and we all grew and learned together. One thing I can count on is that these entries will keep me honest and serve as a record of how I succeeded or failed. I hope to land on the successful side.
