Sweet Funny Presents Our Students Give Us
By Stephanie Farley
Right before winter break, I was chatting with a few new teachers who were both surprised and delighted by the gifts their students gave them. Neither realized that teachers are smothered in riches each holiday season and were taken aback by the generosity and warmth expressed by students and families in their gift-giving.
Of course people in other careers receive gifts at the holidays – the actor Tom Cruise used to famously give a coconut cake from a Los Angeles-area bakery to colleagues – but truly nothing compares to the gifts students give their teachers. Tender, joyful, and sometimes hilarious, these gifts remind us why teaching is such a satisfying profession.
A privileged perspective
Before I proceed, I must emphasize that I’m writing from a privileged position: I’ve always taught in Los Angeles independent schools, and the communities I’ve been a part of are incredibly generous, such that gift-giving is a cultural norm. Further, there are ethical codes around the gifts that can be given and those that can be accepted. I recognize this is not the experience for all teachers.
With that being said, and in the spirit of savoring and perhaps extending the positive emotions of the holiday season, I share a partial list of the gifts I’ve been given over my 30 year career as an educator:
150 candles
100 platters of homemade cookies
100 gift cards to: Amazon; AMC Theatres; Barnes & Noble; Bloomingdales; Nordstrom; Starbucks
78 bookmarks
75 platters of homemade candy
50 bottles of wine, assorted
50 bottles of hand lotion
47 coffee mugs
45 notes that said I made a difference
38 holiday ornaments
25 tote bags
24 reusable water bottles
20 boxes of tea, assorted
18 travel coffee mugs
15 hot chocolate mixes
13 pairs earrings
12 travel tea mugs
12 boxes of notecards
11 key chains
10 scarves
10 pads of personalized paper
8 wine glasses
6 water glasses
5 jars of dry ingredients for cookies
4 recyclable grocery bags
4 pairs gloves
3 spoon rests
3 Harry & David fruit boxes
3 handbags
3 disposable film cameras
2 trivets
2 hair barrettes
2 art pieces
1 signed copy of George Plimpton’s book, Truman Capote
1 panettone
1 recipe for latkes
1 set of babysitting coupons
1 pair of Dearfoam slippers
1 notebook filled with my “sayings” from class
1 letter that expressed “this class is art”
1 Gucci handbag
1 glass apple with my name on it
1 Amazon Echo
1 compact mirror with my name on it
1 back scratcher
1 crystal fish
A few notes about this list
1. Some cookies made it to my desk in better shape than others, but I sampled every homemade cookie, candy, or other food that was made for me. I’ve appreciated an aspect of every item.
2. I made the cookies in a jar that were assembled for me. They were all good.
3. I still use a spoon rest a student from my second year of teaching gave me. It’s been on the kitchen counter in each of the 4 places I’ve lived since I began teaching.
4. I’ve lost or misplaced every keychain I was gifted.
5. Similarly, I cannot find any of the 78 bookmarks. Where do they go?
6. I didn’t use the babysitting coupons one sweet student offered. My children were 2 and 6 at the time, and the only person I left my kids with was their grandma. But it was so thoughtful!
Often, once a conversation about gifts from students begins, someone asks what the “best” or most memorable gift was. So here are some superlatives:
Most Tender
A student decorated a notebook and filled it with her reminiscences about class. Among them was my exhortation that their writing should “apprehend the luminous” (one of the groan-inducing things I used to say to my students…and grade them on! I’ve since learned better. Check out that article, here), as well as a rundown of the questions she liked to ask.
Having my class reflected back to me through the eyes of a student was the sweetest, most touching gift I’ve received. I felt seen.
Most Arty
One family gave me an art piece made by the mom. She opened old paperback books until they were flat, folded the book pages so they made an accordion-like arrangement, and adhered the book to a cardboard base. The resulting object could be used to store paper items like receipts or notes. Not wanting to destroy the art, I’ve simply displayed the book as an object.
Most Used
This is a tie between the spoon rest that I’ve used forever and the compact mirror with my name on it. The mirror has been in my work desk since I got it, and I use it daily to ensure I don’t have food in my teeth before a meeting or class.
Most Cherished
Notes from students are in this category. While I am not generally a sentimental person who holds onto things, I have saved every note my students wrote me. Maybe I am sentimental! I don’t know. And the quote from these notes that I cherish the most is “I don’t know if you do it intentionally, but this class is art.”
It tickles me that this student thought perhaps I didn’t plan the class at all; that I just stumbled in, started talking and waving my arms, and then somehow kids were able to learn. I didn’t realize it until it happened, but the highest compliment I can be paid is that my class – my curriculum; my style of teaching – is like “art.” Whoa. I use that quote on my resume.
What other teachers told me
I asked other teachers their thoughts about the gifts they receive. While they roundly appreciate all of the gifts, it’s clear that they cherish the heartfelt notes, the student art, and the homemade or hand-crafted gifts. One friend said her most memorable gift was a “principal pet” a kindergartner gave her that was made of two rocks glued together, painted purple, and sporting googly eyes. She also remembers a cow hair purse and a “sundae” made of sand.
Clearly, these kinds of gifts carry meaning. I’ve used the word “tender” a few times already, and that’s because when I look back at the notes I’ve been written, the feeling those words evoke is tenderness: for the kids who were kind enough to write me and for the effort it took to find the right words to express how they felt.
In the new year, I hope we can all learn to savor the sweet, funny things our students share with us. It’s what makes teaching worthwhile.
Share your memorable gifts in the comments!
Stephanie Farley has been an English teacher and independent school administrator in southern California for 27 years. Formerly Director of Teaching and Learning at a school for gifted, neurodiverse students, she is now working with grades 4-12 teachers and teaching ninth grade English. Stephanie, who is interested in instructional design, assessment, feedback, and grading, has served as a Mastery Transcript Consortium Site Director and has been on a number of California Association of Independent Schools accreditation committees.
Stephanie’s first book is Joyful Learning: Tools to Infuse Your 6-12 Classroom with Meaning, Relevance, and Fun (Routledge/Eye On Education, 2023). She has created professional development for schools around reading and curriculum and has coached teachers in instruction, lesson planning, feedback, and assessment. Visit her website Joyful Learning and find her other MiddleWeb articles here
My Christmas tree was dressed in gifts from my students over the years. I have cherished these ornaments. As I took them off the tree this year, I paused for a few moments to reflect on the child that gave me the special ornament , the class of students.